tight enough around my waist shifting me slightly with your  embrace

How did you know its melody- the music to my song

sway with me… lead me… breathe with me

the world forgotten at your feet my life but a simple dance

you start.. you end.. your daughter.. your bride.. your friend

your humbleness asked for this dance

your confidence insisted on a willing partner

oh how steady it skips oh how brilliantly we shine

could that be me on solid ground dancing with you round and round?

two willing feet and you taught them the beat

two willing hands and you taught them to silently surrender

and so the song plays … and so the Son shines and oh how we sparkle

we dance through laughter, pain, sorrow, storms and heat

oh I am addicted to this dance

as my finger pushes…. repeat

See I knew that voice, it was the voice that comforted me when my dad would come home drunk or in a rage (we will save those story for another time).  In fear I would hide in my closet.  I wrote stuff on the walls and just chilled in there and I remembered that voice, whoever that was spent time in there with me, I knew that voice! I still get chills when I tell that story because that was the night when I really started living again.

I was never one of those people who denied God or His Son.  I just did not live my life for Him because I had no idea what that looked like. Wow- has the road been long, hard and wonderful since that night.  In a matter of weeks I had changed my music, my friends, my priorities and stopped bar tending.

Did it cost me something? You bet it did.  I was in my junior year of college.  I had just received an amazing scholarship with Chipp’s Quinn that pretty much guaranteed me a job anywhere in the U.S.  It allowed me to write for the Lincoln Journal Star where I helped with the religion and cooking section (boring).  I was being personally mentored by Dick Thien, which means nothing to you who don’t know journalism, but at one time he was the editor for the New York Times. He loved me and really believed in my talent. I was exactly where I had worked my butt off for three years to be. I had achieved it all, at least I thought I had. So this question remained, why do I feel so empty?  Truth be told I didn’t even like writing for the paper, it made me feel caged,stifled and  stuck in a box.

Any who, God led me to a Lutheran church and as I was getting out of the car I thought, “Lutheran? God I grew up in a Catholic family I really don’t want to be Lutheran.”  Well, I went inside.  Standing there was Pastor Tom and Wendi, he said, “Hello we are from Grace Place here in Lincoln. We just meet here, we are a sister church to Glad Tidings in Omaha ” -which is a church my friend Janell would drag me to time and time again (it is where I met my Jonny. We were 14 and great friends) I thought YES -this is where I am supposed to be!

I started meeting with them and doing bible study and I fell in Love with an amazing man named Jesus. The worship there was horrible, the lady couldn’t stay on tune to save her life (lol) but I didn’t care.  It was about my savior and it didn’t matter (I still feel the same way) So I went every week and they loved me and taught me and excepted me and man did I cuss a lot, but that slowly started to fade with love! I got baptized in the fountain, in the middle of all the sorority and fraternity houses I was at one time apart of. I got dunked in that water and never doubted that I had been made new!

I left campus my junior year and gave up my scholarship (Dick Thien was not happy with me he said I would end up wasting my talent and end up a house wife -lol) Four months later I got engaged, four months later I married Jon Horner, four months later after we were married I found out I was pregnant with Sadie, and then life began.

Has it been easy? Not at all, but I can tell you that my worst day with Jesus is better than my best day without Him! Am I perfect?- hardly. I try everyday to love people like He so patiently loves me- I try everyday to give a an ounce of the hope he placed in my life, I try everyday to find the 1% in you that has potential even if 99% of you stinks with hurt and insecurity. Many-Many- Many of you who read this don’t know our Jesus (I say our, cause He is yours too) you know about Him but you don’t know Him personally – how I want that for you …. how I cry out for that for you!

So this is the skinny of my story.  Call me or message me, I would love to share it all with you and help you start to truly live……arms fully out, head dropped back, eyes open… just long enough to see… His never ending love poured down on you.

So here is my heart written at the very moment you just read about…..

The Proposal

He grabbed my hand soiled and stained and gently lead me down the isle.

I could not see where I was going but there was trust and grace in His smile.

He did not try to wipe my face with rags of judgment or shame.

He only tenderly wiped my tears and called me sweetly by name.

My darling, beloved, fragrance so sweet, come away and see.

Put your lovely hand in mine and walk the heavens with me.

So he handed me a wedding dress as pure and white as snow.

Whispering, “put it on my love and I’ll tell you what I know.”

I know that you are beautiful, original, and strong.

I know that I can heal your sorrow and turn your weeping into song

I slowly saw the stains removed as mourning turned to dance.

And  He held me tightly in his arms and I finally knew romance.

Then the Lord kneeled on one knee and said with a heart full of pride, “My darling, beloved, flawless one, will you be my bride?”